Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
