another moral hangover. fuck.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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