youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
