i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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