I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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