this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize