Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
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Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
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Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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