well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
