So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
