With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
