We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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