i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
