It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
high people should be assigned attendants
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
