I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
