It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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