Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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