He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
