I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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