I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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