Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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