I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
