My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
