After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
