Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm like, not good at living.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize