while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
50% drunk capacity currently
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
