There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
