So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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