we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
