we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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