@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
