I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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