i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize