It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
