Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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