Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
