she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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