Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Who died my cat blue again?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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