I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
