Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
