Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
