They should really pass out barf bags in church
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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