I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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