I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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