I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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