eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
