I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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