maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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