Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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