White coat. Heels.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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