Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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