I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize