You work out of a Hotel?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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