can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
