yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize