After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
