lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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