Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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