His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You ever have a fart follow you around?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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