so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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