I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
